I Got a Ring – Now What Do I Do?

Congratulations! So you got the ring and are now engaged? What do you do first? Where do you start? How much does a wedding cost? Do I have to pick my date first? These are some of the most common questions of newly engaged couples.


The very first thing you should do is sit down and create a budget. This is a very easily done task that many folks skip or wait until later to do. By doing it first you know exactly what you can spend and where you can spend it. Once you have a budget in place it is a lot easier to find your venue and start working on an available date.

Many people are afraid of doing a budget but in reality you will save money by preparing a budget and sticking to it. A Professional Wedding Planner can assist you with preparing a budget that is both realistic and workable. We have many years of experience knowing what wedding items cost and where you can get the most “bang for your buck.” If you are unsure of the amounts to allow for items or where to place the most emphasis, contact a local Wedding Planner and ask if they do budget preparation. Our company offers a budget preparation meeting wherein we allow up to 2 hours of our time for $100.00. We provide the budget forms and assist the newly engaged couple with this daunting task. If the couple decides to hire us to plan their wedding they receive a $100.00 credit toward any package. How can you go wrong?

You should always have a little extra built into your budget for unforeseen events or items. The cost of items can vary depending on many factors such as the costs of gasoline. Vendors will charge more if gasoline is at a premium price, while venues may give you a break on their minimums if the economy has been bad for them. In addition to relieving a lot of stress down the line a budget will make both you and your family happy in the long run. There are always factors to look at when preparing a Wedding Budget, therefore getting some professional help in preparing it is your best option. But whether you seek out a Professional Wedding Planner or DIY, prepare a budget before you start looking at dresses, venues, or anything wedding. You will be much better prepared for the adventure you are about to undertake.

Seating Charts, Escort Cards and Placecards, oh my!

Everyone’s heard the saying, “Opposites attract,” When it comes to couples that’s often true; however when it comes to wedding guests, that’ not necessarily so.

Choosing the seating arrangements at a reception can be one of the more frustrating aspects of planning a wedding. Both the Bride and Groom want their friends to mingle at the wedding, but they also want to ensure their friends and family get to spend some quality time with the people they already know and whom they might not have seen in awhile. When assigning seats for your guests, follow these tips to help lessen some of the stress:

1. Keep age and interests in mind. Couples should try to keep people of similar ages and interests seated together. For example, your parents’ elderly neighbors should not be seated at the same table as your former college roommates. Instead, consider what guests might have in common and seat them accordingly. If there are people who simply do not get along from a family riff, do seat them far apart.

2. Consider location when seating elderly guests. Elderly guests should be seated away from the stage or the DJ’s speakers, and preferable in close proximity to the restrooms. Be careful not to seat elderly guest next to an air conditioning vent or the door. Try to make things as weasy6 as possible for them.

3. Seat coworkers together. If you inviting coworkers to the wedding, seat them together. Chances are your coworkers do not know many of your family and would be more comfortable with their other coworkers. So seat them with people they know so they’ll have a better time.

4. Seat children with their parents. If your guests are going to be bringing their children, seat them with their mother or father, especially if they are very young. There is a little wiggle room here though, if there will be a larger number of children in attendance, you can set up a children’s table where they can all sit together. Provide activities such as crayons, coloring books and special age appropriate favors for them. They’ll probably have more fun at such a table.

Maile and Kris | September 25, 2010

Maile and Kris were married on the River Terrace at Hyatt Regency Jacksonville Riverfront on Saturday, September 25, 2010. Mother Nature was a doll and cooperated wonderfully. This couple has been absolutely amazing to work with and such a wedding planner’s joy. The Bride has been extremely organized and precise in all her details and planning. She made my job a dream!

 

The ceremony was held overlooking the Main Street Bridge and the view was breathtaking. The Hyatt was their normal Regal self and performed their duties with expertise.

The Bride was beautiful and the Groom stunning. They held their cocktail hour on the River Terrace overlooking the river and the Main Street Bridge. The guests were treated to wonderful hors d’oeuvres while enjoying the warm breeze.

Dinner was a plated service and was done with all the right touches. The chef at the Hyatt made the dining experience something of awe. After dinner the guests were treated to a coffee bar and mini desserts.





The cake was a sample of the amazing Chef Paul of Signature Cakes by Paul and was accented by Monet broaches as well as Swarovski crystal monogram cake topper. The flowers were by Kelley’s Bloom Room and were just the right touch to the Bride’s décor.



The Bride chose one of the most phenomenal photographers for her big day. Star Bradshaw is truly a professional in every sense of the word. She was very organized and new exactly what she needed to do to execute the photos and stay within the Bride’s tight timeline. She was a wonderful team member to work with and as you can see from the sneak peak photos she does amazing work.

     

Congratulations Maile and Kris! Enjoy your honeymoon and we wish you the best!



The DJ Did Not Follow My Timeline!!!

One of the biggest mistakes Brides and Grooms make in hiring a DJ is not doing their homework.  Anyone can play music, but it takes a professional to be able to have the music organized, know exactly when to play the music, when to make the introductions, work with a wedding planner and watch for the planner’s cues, know how to correctly pronounce names as well as dress and act appropriately at a wedding.   Your DJ can make or break your wedding reception!  They are both the number one complaint and number one applause at weddings. So be very careful when selecting a DJ for your big day.  

DJ’s can be very charismatic and on first meeting one you are taken in by their charm and enthusiasm.  They have so much energy you want to hire them on the spot!  Buyer beware!    

Before you select a DJ for your wedding, make sure they have done more than one wedding in the past. Ask if they have worked with a wedding planner. I find there are a lot of DJ’s that have never worked with a planner and just wing it, so when they are presented with a detailed timeline they don’t want to be told what and when to do things. A lot of these DJ’s seem to not want any direction ahead of time from anyone and only want the Bride and Groom to provide them with a list of songs and then allow them [the DJ] to “run the show.” It does absolutely no good for a Bride to hire a wedding planner and go through all the hours of putting together a timeline for the DJ to just ignore it.

www.delandentertainment.com

Paul Deland of D’Land Entertainment says, “A good DJ needs to be a team player. The DJ is essentially a servant to the party.” He explained, “All DJ’s have egos; that’s what makes them standout in this business.” However, they need to channel these egos into serving the party and the Bride and Groom.

http://footlooseentertainment.com/

Kris Parnell of Footloose Entertainment says, “Ask them if they carry insurance. “ By the way; all of your wedding vendors should answer yes to this question. Ask them what professional training they have had. Ask them to what professional networks and organizations do they belong. Ask them what area of experience do they have. Have they primarily played for parties, clubs, etc.? Then ask and listen to your wedding planner or other vendors, specifically ask your venue.


It may seem like a huge difference in price when interviewing DJ’s, but be educated on what a wedding DJ needs to be able to do and make sure the one you hire will be able to perform! You may spend a little more in the beginning but in the long run, you will be much better off with an established and professional wedding DJ.

"I do not want children at MY Wedding!"

This is a sentiment that I am hearing more and more from my brides lately. While for some this is not a big deal, for others it is tremendous. I am told there are family members or friends that will feel their children are exempt from this preference and will ignore the wishes of the Bride and Groom. The Bride and Groom and not left with too many options to let the guests know their wishes but primarily guests should follow etiquette the same as the Bride and Groom. The invitation is addressed to only those invited. If your children’s names are not on the invitation there is probably a reason. If you are unsure, call the Bride or the Mother of the Bride for clarification, but do not get your feelings hurt when you are told they were not invited and please do not just “show up” with your uninvited children.

I am often asked, “What the best way to handle this situation.” Let me first say that that it is NEVER proper to indicate “No Children” anywhere on or in your invitations. Usually, my first suggestion to the couple is to create a wedding website that can be used by all guests to obtain Hotel Information, Timeline Information, Registry Information and little tidbits such as No Children. My second suggestion would be to send out a separate newsletter to your guests with all this information included. Do not send it with your invitations! I know this is twice the postage but it is simply not appropriate etiquette. Lastly, and I believe the die- hard- etiquette experts will disagree with me, I would suggest having “Adult Reception to Follow” placed on the invitation.

More and more weddings and receptions are taking place in very “Adult” settings and in the later evening hours. While these precious little ones make adorable ring bearers and flower girls, if the reception is being held at an adult club and alcohol is being served, it is simply not the place for a child. The adults with the children are not able to enjoy the evening and dance and party and the children are usually tired and grumpy as well. They are better off at home with a sitter.

As a very last resort, I tell my Bride and Groom, you may want to hire someone to act as a babysitter during the reception and to make arrangements for a separate room where the children can go into during

the reception. There are wonderful services that will entertain and take care of the kids for a modest fee.

The most important thing is to remember it is your day (and night) and if you prefer no children, make sure it is communicated (properly) to your guests.

Price vs. Quality

I recently asked my followers for suggestions of things they would like to hear about in my blogs and one of my followers asked me to please explain the importance of price vs. quality. So here goes… when looking for ANY wedding vendor, you should never go with the cheapest! I know budgets are tight and we are all looking for a bargain, but while you may find someone cheaper they are not always your best bargain. I have worked numerous weddings where the Bride and Groom hired a DJ and were so proud they only spent $250.00 or had a “friend” DJ for them. In the end, they only got about 1/3 of the DJ they would have had they hired a true Professional Wedding DJ. They were mortified when he did not have the music they asked for a month in advance, his system shorted out three times, not to mention he looked like he just came from a “gig” at a party club. One local photographer showed up to the wedding on so much medication or maybe alcohol he could barely stand. Once the wedding was over the Bride tried for 6 months to get her photographs. I finally had to get involved and all we were able to salvage at that point was 4 unedited cd’s of pictures. Not a very reliable vendor. These are just examples and the issue runs across the board for all vendors, including wedding planners.

When you are looking for your wedding vendors, do your homework! Do not hire them because their website is flashy and their prices are low! Ask questions such as are you licensed, are you insured, who is your back up in the event you become ill, how many wedding have you worked. These are all very important things you should know before hiring any professional. Ask for references, and call them! There is usually a reason someone’s prices are so cheap. They may be just starting out and do not have the experience, they may be working under the table which is highly illegal not to mention unethical or they just might be a scam artist.

Ask the vendor do they belong to any professional organizations. Southern Charm is an active and proud member of the Association of Bridal Consultants. The Association of Bridal Consultants has been the professional organization for the wedding industry since 1955 and has over 4,000 members in 26 countries on six continents. This association is a membership service organization, designed to increase awareness of the wedding business and improve the professionalism of members. We are held to a standard of conduct and expected to maintain our training each year. These are very important factors when hiring a professional vendor.

Every professional vendor should at the very least carry general liability insurance. This is a short cut many vendors try to cut and in the end can be very costly to both themselves as well as the client.

One way to make sure you are getting the most for your money is to ask a wedding planner. Many wedding planners include this service in their packages but they may also offer it as an a la carte item. It is well worth the cost of a consult to obtain a list of professionals that have proven they can provide the Bride and Groom excellent service on their special day.

What Does a Wedding Planner/Coordinator Do? Part 2 - Day of Coordination

When I first meet with a bride, I ask her to tell me what she is looking for in a planner/coordinator. Many brides already have a vision of what they want for their wedding and have already begun the planning process. They just need some guidance and someone to pull it all together. A lot of these brides are looking for a “Day of Coordinator” which is an oxymoron if I ever heard one. While many of us have “Day of Packages”, there is truly no such thing as only a day of coordinator, unless you are wanting someone to come in and do nothing but line up your bridal party and send them down the aisle. I would not be doing my job if I showed up on the day of a wedding and acted like I knew what was going on. I need to do my homework for every wedding, no matter how big or how small.

For Brides that purchase my “Day of” package the work begins at least 30 days out. I like to have a power meeting at the 30 day mark and sit down with all the decision makers. That means, the Bride, Groom, Mother of the Bride and anyone else that will be making decisions on how the big day comes together. We go over timelines, the processional, the vendors, what is expected from each vendor plus a lot more in depth information such as what the tables will look like, what are the special concerns, what is most important to the Bride or how they would like tough situations handled. At this point, I hope my bride has enough confidence in me as the expert to allow me to make suggestions on etiquette and procedural matters that may have been overlooked. Once we complete this meeting, my work really kicks in. I start contacting all the vendors and letting them know I am on board and ask them to keep me posted with their progress. We go over each vendor’s responsibilities for the big day so there are no misunderstandings. A first draft of a timeline is usually sent to the bride based upon the initial input from the vendors and our planning meeting. It is very rare for a timeline to make it the first go around. There are usually 5 to 6 drafts before it is in final form. By the time the big day arrives, it is not uncommon to have already put in over 20 hours of time for a “Day of Package.” On the day of the wedding we usually are on site about 3 hours before the ceremony to coordinate all the vendors' deliveries and set up.  We remain onsite throught the entire event to assist with any mishaps and to make sure the timeline is adhered to.  Once the party is over, we are gathering up the Bride's personal belongings, loading their gifts and collecting any rental items that need to be returned.  So the next time you are shopping for a planner/coordinator and ask for their “Day of Package”. Make sure you are not just getting someone to show up and direct your wedding ceremony then leave. There is a HUGE difference!

What does a Wedding Planner/Coordinator Do? (Part I)

I have been asked the question many times, what exactly do you do. So I decided to try to explain to the many of you who are confused about what a wedding planner/coordinator does. I plan on covering this over several different blog posts and thought I would start with a general over view of just what we do.

Let me first begin with a short definition I found a couple of years ago that for me sums it right up. The African Wedding Guide says: "...the role of the wedding consultant is that of a

• facilitator,
• mediator,
• money manager,
• artisan and
• constructor of dreams."

In addition to these things, if you've ever been a involved with a wedding, you also know the kind of stress involved with planning a wedding. Add to the above description,

• therapist,

• sounding board and
• even punching bag, figuratively of course,
when frazzled nerves come into play.

I think the most important thing I do is relieve stress. Brides need to understand, a Wedding planner does not come in and take over your wedding nor does a wedding planner have to cost a lot of money. Most wedding planners are very reasonably priced and are well worth their weight in gold. Think of it as a type of insurance for your wedding day.

Another one of the most important things a wedding planner/coordinator does is negotiate and just what the title says coordinate. There are many times when contracts are either misunderstood or a situation is unclear. The wedding planner is usually the one the vendors and the clients come to for clarification. On the day of the wedding the planner is the one person that is the “leader of the orchestra” so to speak. Think of all the workers coming and going with no one person there to orchestrate and direct. What kind of chaos would there be? What happens if the flowers are not there on time, what happens if the cake is not delivered at all? This is not the time for the mother of the bride or any family member to have to try to organize all the vendors and make sure all the things are in place for such a momentous event.

The wedding planner/coordinator is trained to stay calm and take these situations in stride. We all should have a backup plan and know exactly how to execute it if need be. No wedding is perfect and there are always little snafus that happen. Having a wedding planner/coordinator there makes these snafus go away and most of the time the guests and Bride and Groom never know they even happened.

There is a lot of work and money that go into the planning of a wedding. You want professional vendors so why not leave the most stressful time to a professional trained to handle it and enjoy your day.

Brides Against Breast Cancer

"Photography Courtesy of Kathryn Brown Photography"

Last January I received a phone call from a sister wedding planner asking me if I would be willing to help coordinate the Brides Against Breast Cancer Gown Tour in Jacksonville. Little did I know then, but I was embarking on an adventure that would impact my life. Over the past six months, we have searched for a venue, begged for donations, spoke at rallies, posted flyers, posted on Facebook and Twitter daily, answered emails, scoured the city for free advertising and asked for volunteers to pull the Gown Tour together for the weekend of July 23-25, 2010. On Friday morning the 23rd, it all came to realty when I met Allison Caudle and Barbara Raskin with Making Memories at the Channel 4 News Station. I watched as our models displayed a sample of dresses and listened to Allison explain the purpose of the gown sale. Allison explained that she was the one that actually got to grant the wishes and this organization had not turned any down so far. She went on to explain that the Making Memories Foundation has an extremely high grossing percentage that actually makes it to the “wish” fund. Most of their work is done by volunteers and the overhead is kept to a minimum amount. A little unknown fact about these dresses is that they are not all used. Many of the gowns are couture that have been donated by the designer or manufacturer and still have the original price tags on them. I knew the profits from the gowns went to Stage IV breast cancer patients, but I did not realize the impact this charity had on individuals.

"Photography Courtesy of Kathryn Brown Photography"



As the morning progressed we met up with the owner of a local gown shop (Park Avenue Bridal Mandarin) who donated 30 brand new gowns to the cause. Then shortly before noon volunteers started arriving and the truck pulled in with THE DRESSES. Immediately the “crew” (again, all volunteers) from South Carolina started unloading the truck and to my amazement ran the operation like a fine tuned instrument. It was obvious they had done this many times before. Within no time the empty ballroom, donated by our co-host, the Hyatt Regency Jacksonville Riverfront, transformed into a bridal gown shop complete with veils, tiaras and shoes. All we needed now were the brides.

"Photography Courtesy of Kathryn Brown Photography"


Our VIP Night began with registration and a very unique raffle. The brides and their guests were able to purchase raffle tickets for $10.00. The catch being they were given as many tickets as they could wrap around their breasts for the $10.00. Everyone was getting into the spirit of the measuring and having fun. We had approximately 53 people show up for our first VIP Night in Jacksonville with 18 of those being brides. The Hyatt treated us all to a signature “pink” cocktail and hors d’oeuvres while our other co-host, David Hanscom with Y? Entertainment kept the crowd entertained with door prizes and raffle drawings. The brides gathered around to receive excellent advice from our professional volunteers who served as an Expert Panel. Then it was time to unveil the dresses!

"Photography Courtesy of Kathryn Brown Photography"



As we moved into the ballroom, the ooohs and ahhhhs were heard everywhere. It was so exciting seeing these girls trying on dresses and coming out to show their mothers and bridesmaids. Our local professional volunteers got in to the spirit by providing free make-up and hair advice. Some even gave complete make-overs. The photographers added to the fun by setting up a dummy runway and taking pictures of the brides in their dream dresses. In addition to the make-up, hair and photos, we had several local florists donate exquisite bouquets for the brides to sample with their dresses. We closed our VIP Night selling 9 dresses and making just over $6,900.00

"Photography Courtesy of Mel Roby Photography"



Throughout the rest of the weekend, we shared stories with many brides coming in to either donate a dress or buy a dress and telling us of someone in their family who was stricken by this awful disease. It was a very touching and rewarding time for all us. I urge each and every one of you that has not had the opportunity to work at one of the BABC gown sales to volunteer! It is an amazing experience that you will treasure. It touches the heart and soul of so many people, in the giving of the dresses, the buying of the dresses and the wishes that are granted by the Foundation. All in all, we feel our gown sale was a success. I had set a personal goal of $15,000.00. At 6:30 p.m. on Sunday evening, we sold our 21st gown and made just over $17,510.00. This event has brought many of us in the wedding industry closer together and we are already working on another sale for next year. Please keep posted for an update on our progress and the date of the next sale.

"Photography Courtesy of Kathryn Brown Photography"



A special shout out and thank you to these Professional Volunteers who helped make this weekend a success:

Alina Castillo - alinacastillo@mac.com
Bethany Walter - www.madyjoe.com
Casey Powell - www.caseydoeshair.com
Cheryl Raby - www.avowtwokeep.com
Chris Kennelly - www.kenneticproductions.com
Christy Whitehead - www.christywhiteheadphotography.com
Dan Harris - www.danharrisphotoart.com
David Hanscom - www.youreventanswer.com - Y? Entertainment – Co-Host
David Weast - weastd@live.com
Elizabeth Cohn - www.jacksonville.hyatt.com -
Hyatt Regency Jacksonville Riverfront - Co-Host
Hope Dempsey - www.d-vinecuisine.com
Jason Christley - www.kategardinerphoto.com
Judy Brown-Scott - www.judys-cakes.com
Kate Gardiner - www.kategardinerphoto.com
Kathryn Brown - www.kathrynbrownphotography.com
Kimtasha Armstrong - www.kimtasha.com
Lauren Atwaters - www.ten23designs.com
Linda Gail Rowe - lindarowe@marykay.com
Lisa Burnett - www.elegantweddingsbylisa.com
Lori Robinson - www.caydenlanephotography.com
Mel Roby - www.melrobyphotography.com
Paulina Perez - www.paulinaperez.com
Shawnee Doster - www.Shawnee.AllAboutHoneymoons.com
Sonia Garza - soniagarza1225@yahoo.com
Tania Phillips - www.clearskiesphotography.com
Tanya Hendricks - www.southerncharmevents.org - Southern Charm Events – Co-Host
Wanda Hanscom www.youreventanswer.com - Y? Entertainment – Co-Host

"Photography Courtesy of Kathryn Brown Photography"


Our lovely bouquets were provided by:

A Fantasy in Flowers | www.fantasynflowers.com | 904-268-7022
Blossoms and Accents, Inc. | www.blossomsandaccents.com | 904-993-7677
Rose of Sharon | www.roseofsharonflorist.net | 904-737-8655
Kelley's Bloom Room | www.kelleysbloomroom.com |904-387-4474
From the Heart Flowers & Gifts | www.fromtheheartflowersandgifts.com|904-531-9450